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I know I talk a lot about vision... but it's the thing, or lack of it, that determines our motivation, focus, hope, purpose and joy... or our lack of those things....

The picture above is of my vision board. It contains both pictures and words. It hangs behind my bedroom door.  It is blurred not because the vision itself is blurry, although for a long time it was, but because personal vision is highly personal.  It is not just a collage of generic wants and desires but a picture of yearnings and callings that lay deep in my heart. And that place, for me, is shared only with a few trusted people who have truly loved me unconditionally. 

My vision board has morphed three times in 2014. Initially much of it had been created with someone else in mind, but when it was clear the vision was now mine alone, it had to change.  And I changed it quickly. Too quickly.  I changed it at a time when I was not yet brave enough to be honest with myself, when I rushed to assume I was in a healthier place than I was. That place needed to be one where I could be so honest that the vision could be what it truly needed to be, no matter how crazy it might seem not just to others, but even to myself. Great vision requires good health.

So I took down the first manifestation of this vision and replaced it with one that was too reasonable.  It was a vision that seemed like something I could achieve without the need for trust or faith, and especially without the need for help from others.  Though some pieces have survived to its third manifestation,  this second version was not really vision at all.  The very idea of having a vision means we must have some kind of faith in something bigger than ourselves, even if it is just vision itself. But it has to be bigger than what we think we can achieve on our own.  It has to be something that makes us step out of our comfort zone, out of our small perceptions of ourselves, out of our fears, and pushes us to move forward with determination and bravery. It was a step for me to create a vision board that was for me alone, but it was still too fearful and small.

My third and present 'vision collage' is probably the first time I've been starkly honest with myself about everything I have ever wanted. Some pieces are things that have been in my heart since I was a little girl, all this time unacknowledged by me, and therefore unmet. I look at my vision board now and every once in a while G-d and I have a good laugh over it.  That is how I know it's the right vision.  He and I have always been a bit audacious... It just took me longer to figure out that it was okay to be that way.

The new (or really not so new) vision is daring, BIG, crazy, fun and beautiful, and it is totally me. Finally. It took me a while to get here.  But I'm here.  And excited about what is around the corner....

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