Oh my goodness, I am such a Dori... :)
Yesterday was a day that saw me turning a corner on several fronts. I knew if I didn't write it down I would forget this day, forget what I had moved on from, and more importantly, moved toward. I'll likely need this note at some point in the future to reread. :)
The day before, on May 19th, something had happened to remind me that I had let the door open to an old, painful experience again. It was just a crack, but it was enough. It shouldn't have been opened at all. But it pushed me to rid myself of memorabilia that I had still been holding on to. When you rid yourself of tokens, you realize it's not only purged from your home, it's also purged from your heart. Moving on means doing everything possible to help yourself move on and being honest about what that requires. There is no fully moving forward until that's done.
Anyway, I went to bed that evening with thoughts of Aliyah and hoped that my dream of going to Eretz Israel to live was really just for me and my dreams and not for anything else. And I wanted some reassurance that something could be worthwhile doing even if it is just for me.
As many of you know, the process of Aliyah for North American Jews is most often done with the help of an organization called Nefesh B'Nefesh. I am planning on the move next year in early July but have not yet submitted my first application forms through NBN. I am headed to Calgary this June to meet with my Rabbi, as he wants to meet face to face when one of his flock makes Aliyah, and he has to provide me with a couple of documents. Anyway... so nothing in the process has actually been started yet. Except for the vision, which has been there for years.
I woke up yesterday morning to discover that NBN had followed me on Twitter. It is extremely unusual that they would have found me before I contacted them, to say the least. They also messaged me and said they could connect me with other working artists in Israel. I was truly dumb-founded. It was G-d's way of saying to me that yes, my dreams that are just for me are completely worthwhile, they are on His/Her radar, and I am completely in G-d's care. I know it may sound like a very small detail to some, but it was a huge way to answer that lingering question I had the night before.
It turns out an Israeli artist who is following me on Twitter made the connection between me and NBN. And I am noticing all of a sudden too, that several Israeli career artists are following me on social media everywhere. It feels like community and work is being built for me already, long before I get home. If I had any fears about making Aliyah alone, and I do (!), they are already being allayed. The seeds are being planted.
Another moment yesterday that made it a significant day.... I have someone working on my marketing for the art... a dear friend who is a whiz at this sort of thing. He's revamping everything from my website to other social media. Yesterday he subscribed me to a new website software. Another seemingly insignificant detail that spoke volumes to me. It means my new website is close to launching, as well as several other products he is creating for me. It feels like a whole new door is about to burst open with my art career.
As well, response to my work has taken off in the last little while. I can barely keep up with people who are following and writing amazing comments about the art. All of this, taken with the new marketing coming up, I have the constant feeling and reassurance that this career I took a huge risk for is about to really take off. Consistent sales are sorely needed. And it is coming none too soon. Once again, I have peace AND excitement that G-d is answering. I remember an old saying... about G-d seldom being early but never late. This might be the first time I've believed that before actually seeing the answer.
So.... there is new-found optimism for me. Not just optimism... hope (my favourite four-letter word). And faith. And real expectation. Most of all excitement! The next year is going to go very quickly and I will be walking the beaches of Eretz Israel before I know it. I finally know that this vision is real, not just to me, but to Someone who loves me and loves making these things happen. My portable art kit is purchased. I am holding the vision of sitting on the beach there and painting.... :)
POSTSCRIPT: Heard from NBN again today (May 24\15)... It turns out the connection on Twitter was not made through another Israeli artist, NBN found me all on their own! And considering I hadn't started the process, this is an even bigger intervention... the Powers That Be, as they put it. Yes, G-d loves doing this kind of stuff, I don't know if it's especially in my life, but it fills me with joy and laughs. G-d too I think.... :)
Oh my goodness, I am such a Dori... :)