sandy-blass-art-blog

I am an emotional girl with a vivid imagination.  What a revelation....I know, several of my friends are already laughing.

And being an artist can be living a bit of a roller coaster. It is the leap into many unknowns.  No more regular pay cheque, no one telling me what needs to be done, and no one guaranteeing anything in return for my work.  So yes, it can all be a bit scary too. So I sometimes wonder, am I loved?

When I say, am I loved, I mean does G-d love me?... more specifically, does G-d have my back? And you can call G-d whatever you like, it's all the same.  This is just how I personally formulate the bigger picture. I was asked by someone recently if I have real assurance of  G-d's love, because if I do, this road I am on will be a tad easier. And I realize yes, I know, without a doubt I am loved. What is so crazy wonderful about that love though is I am loved exactly as I am.

And part of who is really me is my vivid imagination.  Seriously, I dream up all sorts of things, some I share, and most I don't. It's a wild dreamland in there, and I might scare somebody.  What I realize today though is that I am spoken to, and answered, within that imagination.  There are two of us (or One... whatever...) who don't think my imagination is crazy.  It doesn't need to change, it doesn't need to be toned down, and the emotions that sometimes go with it don't need to be buried. In fact, sometimes the emotions are the best part!

Many things in that imagination of mine have been answered, with exactly what I imagined. My whole life I wanted to be a working artist, and now I am. It may not be where I want it to be just yet, but it will be.  I know it. What's so exciting about all of this is that I know the answers will come, and a lot of it, in the wild and free way that I imagine it.

And there are so many other things I want to be and do and see and have, and now I finally realize it's ALL on the table. I get to be what I want to be, enjoy my own personal brand of joie de vivre, and all the while be surprised by joy.

It's a roller coaster, this life, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I mean seriously, I want to be those women in the first row, not the third (the grumps...). Today I realize I already am, and what a thrill it is.... :)

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