Since moving to the west coast and landing in Vancouver, several things have taken up residence in my head.  One of them being the idea of adding a blog to my website.  There is so much to process when there is change... and so much that can get in the way of painting.

This will be my attempt at getting some of it out so I can get back to the canvas.  Or maybe getting some of it out onto the canvas. Whatever it is, somehow my art needs to reflect more of me, rather than less, especially when there is transition and change.  Which means all the time really....  It needs to be transformational, this is the nature of art, and life, I think.  Running and hiding has never served me well.  And the art keeps nagging me to come back....

I remember several years ago when my marriage was unravelling, there was a half finished painting that sat on my board for three years.  Three years!  I did no painting in that time period at all.  I knew the half finished piece was my "hump" painting, the one I needed to finish, to get past, in order to move on and create from my centre again.

I have one of those pieces again, a hump painting. It's been on my board since February.  Half finished again. It haunts me.  It sits there dormant, once again due to the ending of another important relationship.  I've heard advice from friends to take it off the board, go back to it later,  start on something completely new.  But it doesn't work that way.  If I don't finish this I won't move forward.  

I wonder why relationships and all their ups and downs can screw things up creatively.  There are so many things helping me through this time period, friends, family, reading, movies.... but the painting does not seem to provide solace.  It feels more like a ball and chain. And then I worry, if I am really an artist, why doesn't the work beckon me?  Or rather, since it is beckoning me, why am I refusing the call? Why is it so easy to walk away?  Aren't I supposed to be more passionate about this?

Anyway... the blogging is yet another means for me to circle back around to this damn painting.  To get it off my board and off my chest.  And by the way, since virtually everything  informs this artistic journey of mine, there will be blogs here about everything under the sun that might currently be rolling through my mind and heart.  So you've been forewarned.... Hopefully it helps clean the slate.  I mean... the canvas.